(feel free to add your own favorites)

• “I ate a man alive tonight.”
  

• “Time to manhandle this…man-handle.”
  

• “Larry King’s decapitated wax head wants num-nums.”
  

• “Darn beautiful men, always eating out of the trash…wait, what?”
  

• “And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk.”
  

• “Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that every living thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.” “Totally righteous, bro!” “I know!”
  

• “The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!”
  

• “Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!”
  

• “Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”
  

• “You deserve a prize. Here, have a head that’s always screaming!”
  

• “Studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns–in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!”
  

• “Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive, and–follow-up question–can I survive the wax-figure uprising?”
  

“Wh-what’s that? Crombie? Crombie. That’s not a word. You’re losing your mind.”

“I’m a boy now! Wassup bro? Let’s grow some moustaches!”

“It’s better this way for Paper Jam Dipper.”

“I ate a salamander and jumped out of the window!”

“Always sassafrassing the customers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants!”

“Llamas are nature’s greatest warriors.”

“Bill Dipper! Bipper!”

“Razzle Dazzle! It’s me, the Razz-Dazzler!”

“I ain’t nobody’s gam-gam, sucka!”

-“And that’s why we don’t stick our hands in *singing* other people’s mouths!”
-“Count Lionel?! What is HE doing here!” (“I’ve come to reclaim my bride!”) “What? YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AT THE COTILLION, YOU!” (“You had your chance at the cotillion, you!”) “THATS WHAT IM SAYIN!”
-“I smell… *dramatic pan* emotional issues.”
-“YOUR MATH IS NO MATCH FOR MY GUN, YOU IDIOT!”
-*witnessing his worst nightmare* “You’ve become your father.”
-“The dance floor is a mine field! A mine field, Tyrone!”
-“Ugh, we’re behind that old guy. He’s probably going to pay with pennies, or war bonds or something.”
-“Woah, that’s amazing! And morally ambiguous!”

“Waddles, you got it good, bro. You got no worries. I mean, nobody thinks it’s cute when I lie naked on the living room floor.”

*throws TV out the window* “Uuuhhh… couldn’t find the remote.”

- “Its like if coffee and nightmares had a baby.”
- “Are you sick of owls constantly blocking your driveway?”
- “Am I a man? Am I a baby? These are legitimate questions.”
- “Who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car!?”

“Ha! I did that with my mouth!” 

“Oh I’ll hold my horses—you monster…”

-”That was just an accident with the leaf blower.”

-”Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!”

-”I don’t trust anyone who’s hair is bigger than their head.”

-”Would you like to eat my candy paws?”

-”Wanna take off our uniforms and run in circles?”

-”Finally! A good reason to punch a teenager in the face!”

-”Deer teeth! For you kid!”

-”Aah! My face is being eaten a lot!”

-”Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like eighty-seven different faces…”